excuse me

Sitting on the toilet,
a teal pair boxers with pictures of little crocodiles on the tile floor
to the left; laptop
pressing weird shapes into
the skin on my thighs.

Woke up twenty-eight minutes ago.
Blew a ticket.
Seventeen minutes ago, got horny.
Took my teal crocodile boxers off, and sat on the toilet.
Fully hard watching a blonde with weird tits and a gap between her front teeth on an illegal video stream, fourteen minutes.
Precum, ten.
Climax, seven.
Shame coincided with wiping my sticky dick with pieces of toilet paper, and getting soft, six and a half to four.
Peeing while sitting down, too lazy to stand up, three to two and a half minutes.

Sitting on the toilet,
in the sweaty/heavy aftermath of masturbation.
Alone
reading European soccer gossip
on the internet.

Not for long.

My bathroom has three doors:
a normal door from the hallway, which can be locked,
and two sliding doors, one from my bedroom,
and the other from my uncle's office.

The door from my uncle's office slowly starts to creep open.
I can see his bald head looking into the bathroom,
me, still pantsless, laptop on my lap, sitting on the toilet.
Cum, piss, balled up toilet paper swirling underneath my balls and ass.

"excuse me."

He stands there.

"Excuse me."

Nothing.

"EXCUSE ME."

Unresponsive.

"Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. EXCUSE ME!"

Finally, movement.
His fingers ungrasp the edge of the door.

He mutters fast and low as he closes the door,
"I saw the light was on and I didn't know anybody was in here.
You know, I just don't want to waste electricity. Costs so much these days.
All these taxes, Obama....."
goes back into his office,
back down the stairs,
and everything fades back to silence.

I take the laptop off my lap
put it on the counter,
turn the shower on,
take the navy t-shirt I've been wearing
for the past three days off,
and flush the toilet.

I have work in thirty minutes.