I was smoking a cigarette outside of wal-mart at 11 pm on a Friday night, along the side of the building.
Two coworkers, one a latino man in his late twenties with back hair poking out from underneath his grey beanie, and black stubble blanketing his neck and chin wearing a navy blue company issued sweatshirt, the other was an average sized, 30 something white guy with pale skin, and a pock marked face wearing the same navy sweatshirt with a beer belly underneath.
They lit up two cigs, and sat on a turned over shopping cart on it's side, and started talking to each other in between puffs, while I leaned against the brick wall next to the ashtray bucket unintentionally listening to their conversation, and too nervous to join it:
"Yeah man he just left. Was gonna be makin a lot more money than he is here. His father just bought another one of those gas stations, tha one on Penn Ave and he's going to be tha one runnin it."
"Haha, those Indians and their gas stations. It's all they buy. They're takin over man watch it. People blame us Mexicanos for all this bullshit in this country, but we ain't makin shit. Jus like tha rest of yous. They're tha fucks that are makin out with all their tax breaks and shit. Makin mad bread cause of it"
"I knaw they own all of 'em round here any more. Plus, he's tha only son in the family, the rest are daughters. Means he gets to own all of the one's his father does after he retires, or dies. Crazy shit. Fucker's gonna be loaded in just a couple of months. While we'll still be here workin for less than shit, jus scrapin by."
"Preachin to tha choir esse. My life feels like I'm jus pissin into a bucket."
"Ye, I feel you. But sometimes you gotta throw that bucket of piss at some asshole's windshield."
"Haha, jo. You right, I gotta throw my piss bucket at an asshole's windshield, and smash that shit, and stop being a pussy. I knaw tha perfect asshole, too. haha. If Jim, eva calls you into his office and axes if you knaw who smashed his windshield with a bucket, and why his whole car smells like 28 year old piss, ya'll don't knaw nothin. Haha."
"I ain't no snitch, jo. You my boy in this shithole. But speakin of pussy, I finna get some of that tonight, jo! My wife's been textin me on the reg all day, tellin me how wet she is, and how she can't wait til I get back to my crib. She been playin with herself all day. Pussy does make this whole livin thang not so bad. Some pussy, shots, and beer is well worth tha bullshit."
"Pussy, shots, and beer are tha only reason to live. But ya'll bullshittin. No bitch, especially your wife would eva give it up to you that easy, jo because you one ugly muthafucka. Maybe after a couple of shots of bourbon. Or maybe a whole bottle. Hahaha."
"Fuck you, yai. Haha. Want proof? She been sendin me pics all day. Check it.You jus jealous cause I got that shit on command. I take her to pound town whenever I want jo."
"Haha. Oh damn, her tits are fuckin nice yai. And she's got a cute face. I wuz jus fuckin wit you. Ya'll definitely goin to pound town tonight, nigga stretch limo style. But I ain't jealous, yai. You go there with one bitch every time. I go there with different shorties all the time. Haha. Not to say that I don't have mad respect for you holdin it down with your girl. Just haven't found that perfect woman yet."
"You will bruh. It's only a matta of time. You a great dude, with a lot to offer. The girl that does find you will never let you go. On some real shit. Jus gotta be patient."
"Shit, yai. Now you makin me reconsider. Haha. But thanks bruh."
They got up, tossed their butts on the ground next to the ashtray, and gave each other a handshake, which turn into an accepted male embrace/hug that was no homo.
"Aight, let's get that pallet down of cat food and start unloadin it."
"Sounds good to me."
They both walked back inside, as I took the last couple drags of my cigarette.
I wish I told them about how it felt like my life was just like pissin into a bucket, and how I need to throw that bucket into some asshole's windshield. I wanted to ask them if they could give me a tour of pound town, because I never been there before; just show me around. I wanted to join in in their no homo handshake that turned into a hug, and thank them for being alive.
I'm currently in the market for a new best friend.
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