radio contest idea

i am going to saran wrap my dick to your face with a christmas tree air freshner (or vice versa), and we will stay that way until you either rip my dick off and run away, or until you or my dick asphyxiates, or until we both die of dehydration.

i hope we stay like this forever with both of our skeletons locked together.
i hope they build a museum around our skeletons, and tastefully put a twister board underneath us, matching our body positions.
i want elderly people to whisper to their grandkids outside the exhibit, "now, shut up, pay attention, and don't touch anything, and maybe you could learn something."

this is my only future aspiration, besides scoring some heroin, wearing a lacy bra, and making Stephen Chapasko uncomfortable by flashing him as many times as possible before he joins the navy.

Three Thoughts I Had While Cutting 1 Pound of American Cheese And 3/4 Of A Pound Of Cooked Ham Sliced Thin For A Forty Year Old Customer With A Mullet Who Was Leaning On The Deli Counter Face Down.

1. Thought about the lyrics to Danny Brown's song, 'Kush Coma.'

2. Thought about bustin up a middle-aged woman's work office and home in Vermont with my friends, Jay and Tiny, two professionals in the field of bustin people's houses up (six houses to their names), with an ax, a baseball bat, a handle of bottom-shelf gin, and bolt cutters, stealing all the copper located behind her walls, chopping it up, and selling it for drug money.

3. Thought about how killer bees will attack an intruder up until a mile away from the hive. Always coming kamikaze.