i wish i was eaten on t-rexplanet.com

i whisper,
"words are just words,
and promises are just promises.
just a sleight of the tongue
and language. and the people who
say they care about
and love you
are the ones who can least be trusted.
friends.
ex-lovers."
as i close my eyes
feeling the time pass
while i can't fall asleep.
always believing they
are as empathetic
to me as i am to them.
playing the generous
sympathetic shoulder
to cry on, acquiescent
to all her/his demands
after one guilt trip,
and pluck on my heart strings.
i put them above yourself.
deluded.
i am shit.
a stupid cliche.
repeating the same mistakes
without any reward.
without feeling better.
like being at a party
where everyone is super fucked up,
you don't know anyone,
and even though you want to leave
you stay cause there is
nothing better to do,
but if i were you i'd still be throwing up.
tomorrow, if i get up, i won't be motivated
to masturbate, and will probably sit in silence.