talking to myself

i will break a pool stick in half, then start to beat myself with it in front of you and your friends, who are drinking 40's on the cement stoop.

screaming at the top of lungs between the whooshes and smacks of the swings and impacts.

"AM I MAKING ANY FUCKING SENSE NOW?

HOW ABOUT NOW?

OR NOW?"

painting bruises on my body, just to make you upset.

just to convince you of something i'm not even sure of.
 
the sun will rise in a couple of hours, and tomorrow will become today.

"Escape the Friend Zone: Go From Just Friends To Friends With Benefits By Asking Her These Three Strange Questions..."

1. Are you crazy?

2. Am i crazy?

3. Want to order a pizza?





(source)

"Duuuuddde, she's so hot." "Like the hottest fucking girl in the valley!"

When I am at work or a party or out with friends and someone attractive walks by and/or chats with us for five minutes and walks away, I can guarantee that a friend or coworker or random person who I'm next to will blurt out the statement, "Yo, she's so fucking hot! I would love to be up inside of that. Tappin that ass." as he/she points down at his/her sexual organ and humps the air. Or something similar to that. Then he/she will turn to me, and ask me, "Duuuuuudddde, like isn't she like the hottest fucking girl in the valley?" I think an outside party is required to confirm this fact for the local historian in order for him/her to record and preserve in the file cabinet of county records for future generations to enjoy.

Usually, I will nod my head in agreement like an intellectual attending a lecture, which he/she does not understand, and will never comprehend. Or I will just walk away, because questions or compliments using the word, "hot" to describe someone who is physically beautiful are fucking stupid. They also make the speaker look fucking stupid. Which means that the person who was humping the air a few minutes ago is a fucking liar. Because he/she is never going to get laid. Because he/she will never walk up to the hottest girl in the valley, and say, "You are the hottest girl in the valley!" Which is why they are talking to me about it in a secluded corner or on a lonely bench or in the next room, outside her earshot.

FUCK THAT SHIT! 

Here are some synonyms for the word, "hot":

Seductive

Addictive

Voluptuous

Ravishing

Poisonous

Potent

Symmetrical

Attractive

Stunning

Picturesque

Magnificent

Enlightening

Heavenly

Radiant

Comely

Sublime

Alluring

Exquisite

Cute

Ideal

Intoxicating

Fascinating

Astonishing

Breathtaking 

Pretty

Viral

Wondrous

Beautiful

Feel free to add more.

you know i’m stalking you, right?

I am looking through fingerprinted windows at the flickering light blue glow of the tv reflecting through the curtains hanging in your bedroom window. Lately, I find myself here, on this street, parked across from your house singing along to the sappiest songs on my ipod.

I am imaging you here, using this performance to show you that I am sensitive and caring.

I am imaging never-ending status updates proclaiming our love and affection:

“it doesn’t matter if the sun is shining or if it’s raining all day, our love grows in any weather. <3 _______”

“AWWW, I Love you too sugarbear! _________”

7 billion likes 143 million comments

And we’ll become the best boyfriend and girlfriend.

Which are compound words.

Which are two words combined into a singular word that has a new meaning.

Boy/girlfriend.

Boy/girl friend.

Get it?

You are nodding your head, up and down.

Bored.

Because what I’m saying doesn’t make sense and is fucking stupid.

Now, I’m imaging myself remembering all the pimples discovered in the mirror earlier that morning and not being able to relate to people.

Back to reality.

Maybe there is a hidden symbolism contained in the hyphen between the words, self and conscious.

I can’t make it through one sappy song without fucking up the majority of the lyrics and/or straying off key.

Maybe it’s better you’re not here.

Maybe I need more practice, but I think I figured out the tv show you’re watching.

Newly Weds. Right?

I am imaging myself wrapped in a cocoon made out your blankets inhaling the scent of your shampoo, which smells fruity and tropical at the same time.

Immobile.

Staring at your stucco ceiling.

The breeze of the window fan skimming across my face.

Forever.

In Love.

I will never turn into something beautiful.

You know I’m stalking you, right?

Which means, you should probably make that phone call to the police within the next couple of minutes.