It’s not unreasonable to consider replacing my skull with a
microwave.
Power 10.
Wrapping my brain in tin foil.
Setting it for life.
After I’m done,
I will show you how to fake a smile.
How to trick people into thinking you’re a kind-hearted happy person,
When you actually are a total shithead.
Or maybe in actuality, you are a combination of the two,
And that’s what bothers you/me the most: not having a definition.
So you and me artificially inseminate ourselves with opiates
Through our left nasal passage
And lay back into navy blue couch cushions and throw pillows,
Listening to the same thoughts on repeat for the rest of the
night.
Not doing anything important.
Never doing anything important.
“We can make it through this.”
What’s left unspoken between us is:
“Maybe we won’t.”
I know I personally haven't found "meaning" in life. That's something that every human being in life searches for. To me it seems, really there is no purpose. I wish people could have a kid's mind forever. The older we get, means we know more and life sucks just as much. It feels like every thing humans ends up doing starts contradicting it self. We fall in love but there's that other part of us that wants more after it plateaus or some other reason. All I can say is writing is something that helps you and gives you some "meaning" in your life, so keep writing. This makes me think of religion as well, no one knows why the fuck we are here and we never will. I choose not to lose any sleep over it because no matter how much I think about life it will never make sense.
ReplyDeleteif you are a mountain lion/puma/panther/cougar, and hungry, I totally give you permission to close my windpipe with your jaws, and puncture my jugular with your teeth so you can survive. that's how tight we are.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI don't think there is a purpose either. You are born, exist, and die. While existing, you live with the knowledge that: the most likely outcome after death is nothingness because you didn't exist (were nothing) before you were born, there is nothing you can do to prevent death, and all your contributions whatever makes you exist metaphysically after you die will also cease to exist due to the passage of time. So you want to enjoy the time you have, but can't due to the constraints of the modern world. And the modern world is fucked. the majority of people that live in it are fucked because they are ignorant to these facts and care more about vapid things, like status, and symbols through materialistic objects or actions to proclaim how powerful, or rich, or cool they are. They don't realize it's a pissing contest. Most of the people I interact with reinforce this, which makes it hard to relate, which means isolation. which means bottling up of emotions. which means a creation of different versions of "the self" to get through various social situations. I think I write because it is a release of the stress and depression caused by living in this bullshit. but the bullshit can be funny at times. it can also corrupt you and cause you to become a total asshole, which makes you feel guilt (if you are a real human being that isn't numb to feeling emotions.) I hope my writing expresses that. I agree completely on the "every thing humans end up doing starts contradicting itself." I want to write what you said about love on my bedroom wall. I think love also starts contradicting itself when someone is "in love" out of fear that he/she will be left alone, even though deep down, he/she knows the relationship is basically over. Then that love ceases to be natural because that person's actions are all artificially crafted in order to keep the relationship going. I think we are all schizophrenic. At least I know I am, and probably insane.
Please keep commenting. I really enjoy reading what you have to say because, unlike life, it totally makes sense.