greeting card valentine's day poems by elly dallas, elly dallas' coworkers, and mv swydersky

co-workers:

menstruation is red

afterbirth is grey
& yr vagina

is what made me gay

roses are red

eggs are rotten

when you are dead

you will be forgotten

roses are red
skateboards are cool

maybe if you're nice to me

you can put it in my butthole

roses are red

gel pens are cool

be nice to me

and fuck off

roses are red
gel pens are cool

get yr d

away from my hole

elly dallas:

roses are red
pussies be poppin'

hit me up
when yr balls be droppin'

my phone sucks

violets r blue

what the fucking fuck
i miss u

roses are ok but

i can't believe its not butter

dis bitch spoiled

sum1 cut her

ketchup is red

high fructose corn syrup

is not

that's hot

ketchup is red

high fructose

corn syrup
is hot

ketchup is red

and vinegarry and sugary and hot

mv swydersky:

lacerations are red

bruises are blue

i got hit by a bus

fuck.

hard ons are red

lube is blue

masturbating with sandpaper

ooooowwwwwwww!

roses are red

balls are blue

i haven't gone down there in years

praise jesus!

cat piss is yellow

period blood is red

i watched a cow get its throat slit

don't flush feminine products down the toilet.

krok skin is green

missing digits are grey

i peed in the shower

what a wonderful day.

this bitch is bottle blonde

her teeth are cracked

she ate 48 cupcakes in two days

she's got an insulin pump

stuck on her back.

40's are full

crack is back

in an alley sellin bootlegged porn

hit me up wherever you're at!

guns are black
clips extended
if you claim my shit
you'll get shot with a sawed-off

vaginas are pink
buttholes are brown
if you don't suck my dick
get da fuckatta town.

pussies are wet
my penis is rusty
i'm not saying shit
i'm hiv positive.