Tuesday, May 1, 2012

how to avoid an alien invasion

We should point all of our radio antennas
In different directions
And blast some real hood shit
Over the universal airways
So they know that the earth rolls fucking deep.

Other ideas:
1.       Show the movie Bambi, and, right after, show A Serbian Film.
2.       Broadcast the coney island hot dog competition. Have a 45 minute commercial break (all prescription pills and lawn care ads) with 30 seconds left in the competition. And after the commercials and hot dog competition finish, flash to a drunk twenty something power-washing the sidewalks with his/her stomach contents.
3.        Hooking them up with a social networking site.
4.       Include the following objects in a space capsule: a wax statue of Nixon, the largest/greasiest fast food hamburger with the recipe included in the wrapper, a handle of whiskey, a diesel engine, the blueprints for Chinese coal power plants, a syringe filled with crocodiles, the complete series of the show where people lose weight while the host(s) tell them that “you won’t be beautiful on the inside until your skinny, but not too skinny because then you’ll have a problem,” on DVD, arsenic, and all the Home & Garden magazines produced in the past ten years.


We roll fucking DEEP!
So FUCKING deep!
And they should feel fear
Cause we’re growing larger.
Hungrier.
More alone.

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