25th Birthday

For my 25th birthday, I would like to be put down.

Euthanized with a bullet between the eyes.

Or a lead pipe to the back of the skull.

Or soda spiked with rat poison.

Or a plastic bag over the face.

Or I'll bite my tongue off, and choke on it.

Corpse gift-wrapped in old newspapers held together by masking tape, rope, chains, and cinderblocks;

One blue bow stuck to my abdomen.

At the bottom of the Susquehanna River enjoying a piece of funfetti cake.

This Thursday, if you see me, and I give you the thumbs up, you'll know what to do.

Because I'm tired of opening my eyes when I wake up every morning.