Today at work behind the deli
counter, I saw a forty year old man with a tan round face examining the quality
of a box of glazed donuts.
He was wearing a black t-shirt that
said: “I can suck dick better than any girl on this planet!”
The “suck dick” was written in
rainbow lettering.
A tall bald man with a shaved head in
a beige winter coat wiggled his way through produce until he was next to the
guy who can suck dick better than any girl on the planet.
He reminded me of a construction
worker, the bald guy.
He had to be.
His hands were large and calloused.
Permanent dirt glued in between the
fingernails.
I thought about talking to one of
them, but I always get nervous around celebrities.
I had a question to ask.
The man who can suck dick better than
any girl on the planet put the box of donuts back on the table that serves as
our bakery—our
store doesn’t have an in-store bakery, which means all of the baked goods are
brought in from the corporate factory bakery, put on the table in front of the
deli, and marked “fresh.”
“These donuts look like shit! They’re
already hard as fuck!” he said to the construction worker while moving his
hands in a circular motion.
“Yeah! And for $ 3.99? Rather just go
to Dunkin Donuts. Ya know? They’re made by those Indians, but at least they’re
made daily.” the construction worker said to the guy who can suck dick better
than any girl on the planet.
The construction worker giggled as he
grabbed the guy who can suck dick better than any girl on the planet’s left ass
cheek through acid washed jeans with one of his large calloused hands.
“Let’s go babe!”
“Alright.”
They disappeared around the corner
like every customer does, but they were not like every customer because they
were smiling, giddy, hand-in-hand.
The question I wanted to ask was: “Is
it really all about oral sex or is there something else to it?”
Because they were the happiest couple
I had ever seen so far in my entire life.
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